Thursday, July 26, 2012

Parents of Teens, You Are NOT Their Friend. Step Up & Be Their Parent

     Let me start by saying that I am not the mother of a teenager.  Not yet anyway.  However, I have several friends who are parents to teens and oh baby, I am not sure if I am ready for that part of parenting. I still have 4 years until my son is "officially" a teen so I guess it is time to start prepping both of us for those teenage years.
     I know some of you are probably wondering how can you "prep" for the teenage years?  I would think that you can prep for it just as you would anything else.  I have read some blogs written by mothers of tweens and teens and when I read a blog about how disrespectful the child was, I want to leave a comment saying, "And they lived to tell the story?"  Although I have a very different parenting style than my mother, we are very alike in that we will NOT tolerate disrespect of a child.  How are you going to disrespect me, the person who is feeding, clothing and providing shelter for you?  The person who makes sure that you have all the things that a child could want and need.  OH NO!  NOT UP IN HERE!  You need to "prep" your child be putting some fear of you into their butts!
     Now I know that some of my followers will gasp and cover their mouths when they read what I am about to write and that's okay.  However, you run your house and raise your children the way that you want to but while your are sending your child to the corner in a "time out" for being disrespectful, I will be doing something much different.  You figure it out.  Although if you raise a child to honor their elders and those in authority, you more than likely will not have that problem when they become a teenager.
     When I was growing up, I was scared as hell of my mother.  My mother did not play.  If she said something she meant it and as a teenager, if I got out of line, best believe my mom was knocking you out.  She was like Mike Tyson back in the 80's and early 90's.  You had better learn how to duck and dodge. LOL!!  Some kids have no problem talking crazy to their parents because their parents don't do or say anything, thus, they will continue to do what they can get away with. In my house growing up, you couldn't get away with anything and you were probably crazy to think that you could.  Every kid wants to say something smart to their parents when they feel like their parent is being unfair.  If your child fears you, like we did my mother, you would NEVER fix your mouth to say something crazy, unless you wanted to be picking yourself off the floor or searching for your teeth.
     More parents today need to put fear in their children instead of trying to be their "friend" or worrying about their child not "liking" them.  I wouldn't give a damn if my child never liked me but he will respect me!  That I know for a fact!  I am his mother, NOT his friend.  Friends don't buy your clothes and shoes.  Friends don't pay the mortgage or rent.  Friends don't make sure that you have food to eat, water to wash your butt and electricity to play those video games that they didn't buy!  Friends don't care if you fail or do well.  Your parents do!  Don't get it twisted parents who feel like you need to be a friend to your child.  If God meant for you to be their friend, he wouldn't have made that child to be yours! PERIOD!  You have a responsibility to your children to raise them and give them structure.  That is your job!!

22 comments:

  1. FABULOUS POST! I AM A MOTHER OF 2 TEENAGE BOYS AND I TRY MY BEST TO BE THEIR FRIENDS BUT ONCE IN A WHILE WHEN NEEDED AND FOR GOOD REASONS I SHOW THEM WHO'S THE BOSS ;D THANKS FOR FOLLOWING ME, RECIPROCATING :)

    KISSES FROM :
    A SMALL BLOG WITH A BIG HEART
    MRS JACK OF ALL TRADES DAILY where Fashion and Food collide!
    http://mrsjackofalltradesdaily.blogspot.com/

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  2. It's been a long time since our son was a teenager, but if memory serves he was very typical. Up until then he'd been a sweet little blond-haired blue-eyed Hummel, but when he turned thirteen it all changed. He wasn't disrespectful but his mood and attitude turned dark. He wasn't the fun-loving kid we'd enjoyed so much. But we hung in there and when he turned twenty we got our boy back. Now he's a fine young man and I'm glad we kicked him in the butt when he needed it, and just listened when that was required.

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  3. Hey Ty! I love how sassy and stylish your blog is. This post was great too! Hello, parents need to be parents! Amen to what you said. Just wanted you to know that I'm now following you via GFC and look forward to reading more from you! Have a lovely weekend! XOXO

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    1. Thanks, Aleisha! I am glad you stopped by and I love your blog as well! Don't be a stranger.

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  4. I am Ty's MOM the one she is writing about..My mother raised me the same way..I think that you have to know your child and know what is the best way to get your discipline message across. For ty..it was knocking her upside her head..because stop and no was not in her vocabulary..Her sister was totally different just a mention of stop.. and the crazy look, she was cool..However, the Bible clearly says raise up a child in the way they will go and they will not depart..it doesn't mean that would not go astray..it means they will come back to their senses..Like the Prodigal Son..Also times are changed..you can not(spank) and leave a mark on your child and send them to school becausethe school's duty is to report any sign of abuse..and a mark is a tell all sign, to school officials. But, begin at an early age training your child on who is in charge of your house..you should not have any problems..Friendship with your children comes when they are grown..Ty is my daughter and my best friend..lov ya.. All those whippings Paid off,,Thank you, Jesus!

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    1. LMAO! OH WOW, MOM! Love you, too! Thanks, MOM!!

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    2. My mother was my best friend, I said was because she past away four years ago. My Mom did not play she beat the h*!! Out of me and my sister.I feared my mother like I fear the Lord Jesus Christ.If child abuse was in affect back in the 60,70,80's my mother would be doing life without the possiability of porole.Thats why I am the women that I am today.I have two daughters age 34 and 28 one shows me the up most respect and the other thinks that I am one of her home girls. Thats why when shit happens in your life and you wonder why think about the way you disresect your mother.....nuff said

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    3. Great blog Sister.....

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  5. Great post. You WANT them to be able to talk to you BUT you MUST still provide structure. They are still kids who THINK they're adults. They want independence - on a string. So, my advice is while your role is not to be their best friend, you DO want to show RESPECT (find something!!!), LOVE, and most importantly, PICK YOUR FIGHTS WISELY!!! You can't pick and structure or tell them how or when to do everything. Pick these battles wisely. And after teens, the twenties are a blast!! (And, they ARE your friends!)

    I am your newest follower (returning your follow) and look forward to more visits!

    Meryl Jaffe, PhD http://www.departingthetext.blogspot.com/

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    1. You make a valid point. I think that it is wise to pick your fights, as well. Thanks for stopping by and great advice.

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  6. I have an 18 month old. So not ready for teenagers!

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  7. Amen! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm following you back from What's Cooking in the Burbs. Have a great afternoon!

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  8. So true. Kids need limits. Even when it seems like it is the last thing they want.

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  9. First of all, AMEN!!! I am not a mother (yet), but when I do become one, I will not be their friend, but their mother. Second, have you noticed that so many parents these day are afraid of their own kids? In that being said, they are doing more harm than good. My mother put the fear in me. I was a pretty good kid and did not get into trouble because I knew. There were times that I would mouth off and wished that I had not. This was a great post and your mom is too cute!

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    1. Hey Jackie! I know what you mean. There are so many parents who are afraid of their kids and I just don't get that concept! My mom is a hoot! Thanks for stopping by!

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  10. Oh my goodness. Another great post. I could so go off on this subject. I can't stand to see parents care more about being a friend to their children instead of being a parent. And we wonder what's wrong with kids these days...It all starts at home is what I believe. I'll just leave it at that

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