Monday, September 3, 2012

I Have Moved!!

It's official! I have moved! Come on over to my new site!
<script type="text/javascript">

  var _gaq = _gaq || [];
  _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-33622047-1']);
  _gaq.push(['_setDomainName', '']);

  (function() {
    var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
    ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '';
    var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);


I'm So Excited!!


In less than 24 hours, I will be launching my new site!  I can't even begin to explain how excited I am.  It has been about a month in the making and have to say that is it absolutely fabulous!!  Later this evening will be putting up a link to the new site!  Stay tuned!

<script type="text/javascript">

  var _gaq = _gaq || [];
  _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-33622047-1']);
  _gaq.push(['_setDomainName', '']);

  (function() {
    var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
    ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '';
    var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);


Thursday, August 30, 2012

Friday Blog Hop

Welcome to my new Friday Blog Hop!
This hop is a terrific way to meet new people, bring traffic to your blog
& gain new followers.  

Signing up is pretty easy:

1.Follow Me

2.  Add your Blog to the Linky

3.  Make sure you leave a comment so that we know you visited and 
everyone can follow back

4.  Follow as many Social Media sites on each blog as you like
i.e. Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, etc.

 5.  Be courteous.  If someone follows you, be a Doll & follow back

6.  Take a button so that more people can follow you

7.  Above all, HAVE FUN

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Skanks at the Water Park

Today I decided to go to Knott's Soak City, which is a water park here in Southern Cali with my son, sister and niece.  Now this is a family friendly attraction but some of what I see walking around here is either mild porn with an occasional, "What in the HELL was she thinking?".
Now, when you have kids around in any given situation, a thong is not appropriate. Not even if you are wearing a lace cover up! How did they get past the front gate? Is there not a "No Skankiness" dress code here? 
As I look at the other mom's faces as Skank 1 and Skank 2 walk by, the "WTF" look crosses their faces as they turn their sons the other way and slap their husbands upside the head for looking at the Skanks.
I mean really, does someone have to explain what is and what isn't appropriate swimmingly attire at a water park? 
Maybe I can slide the Skanks my card so that they can check out my blog. There just may be hope for them after all!!!
<script type="text/javascript">

  var _gaq = _gaq || [];
  _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-33622047-1']);
  _gaq.push(['_setDomainName', '']);

  (function() {
    var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
    ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '';
    var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);


Friday, August 24, 2012

I'm Still Here!


     I know. I know.  You have probably been wondering where I have been?  You've been stopping by looking for one of my thought provoking or ranting and raving blog posts and haven't been able to find what you came looking for!  Well don't fret!  I am still here.  I have just been very busy working on the new site!  It's almost ready and I can't wait for you guys to see it.  Hold tight!  It won't be much longer!!

I Won the Liebster Award!

     It's HAPPENED again!!!  I have received another award!!  I am so excited that my family of Blogging Moms love my blog!  I have received the LIEBSTER AWARD.  I want to give a BIG FAT THANK YOU to Trish at Hands Full of Stamps  for giving me this award and noticing my greatness! (Joke)

     When you receive the award, you post 11 random facts about yourself and answer 11 questions from the person who nominated you.You pass the Award onto other blogs (make sure to let them know they were nominated) and ask them 11 questions. You’re not allowed to nominate the blog who nominated you! (To get the button, right click the picture above and save the picture to your computer. You can then upload to your blog.)

My interesting facts: 
  •  I love Blaxploitation films like:  Cotton Goes to Harlem, The Mack, Willie Dynamite and Dolemite.
  • If I could eat nothing but meat all the time, I would. No veggies or sweets. Just meat!
  • I HATE wire hangers! NO WIRE HANGERS!!!!
  • I LOVE all fragrances by Donna Karen and DKNY.  That's all that I wear. My 2 FAV'S are Be Delicious and Cashmere Mist.
  • I am OBSESSED with all things BLING! My toes are even "blinged out." I have actual silver glitter on them, covered with clear polish.
  • I never do "major services" on my cars, not even a tune up.  When it is time for that kind of stuff, I trade them in.
  • If I could be anything in the world, I would be RICH!
  • I have a "thing" for make-up! Even though I am not the greatest make-up artist, I love to buy and experiment.
  • I am a paper hoarder. I really need some help!
  • I love body scrubs! Everyone needs to stay exfoliated. LOL!
  • I watch way too much TV. It's my guilty pleasure!

Here are the questions that I am supposed to answer:

  • If you were an instrument, what would you be and why? I would be a piano because I like to have my "keys" tickled!
  • Coke or Pepsi?  Coke but I would rather have lemonade or water, please. Thank you!
  • What was the last song you listened to?  Love & Happiness by Al Green
  • What purpose does blogging fulfill for you? It allows me to write which is my passion!!
  • What did you want to be when you were 5? 10? 15? Now? 5: lawyer  10:lawyer (I liked to argue at an early age. LOL!) 15: writer  and now: the bomb diggity mommy and writer
  • What is your favorite snack food?  Meat
  • What is one tradition your family had when you were growing up that you'd like to continue with your family?  Thanksgiving dinner as a family.
  • If you were a pirate searching for buried treasure, what would that treasure be? Clothes, make-up, and bling!
  • What is your favorite quote, and why?  It is what it is.  Don't know who said that but I like it!
  • When is your favorite time of day? Late night when the house is quiet and it's just me, my laptop and the DVR.
  • Do you prefer to use Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, or Instagram?  OMG!  Facebook...of course!!

Now to the nominations, these ladies are each great in their own right and make me smile, laugh or cry!


Friday, August 17, 2012


     I know some of you wonder, what makes me the "authority" on relationships, dating and what a woman should and should not do in a relationship, etc?  The answer to the question is that I have either "been" that woman that I speak about or I "know" that woman.  In order to be able to give advice you have to know what your talking about and believe me, I wouldn't tell you anything wrong.
     I have often said that I am not an angel and truth be told, I have been through some things as far as men are concerned.  Throughout my life, I have seen women make the wrong choices and I have made some, as well.  The difference between myself and the women that I try to advise through my blog is that I have learned from my mistakes and the mistakes of others and I have made every effort not to repeat the same mistakes and made changes in my life.
     At the beginning of this year, I decided to work on ME.  I felt that it was time to get myself together, physically and emotionally.  During this time, I lost 30 pounds and as far a men and relationships were concerned, I did a whole 360.  I made the decision to not settle for bullshit and not put up with bullshit.  I decided to have higher expectations and require more of those that are in my life.
     When I write my post, I am simply trying to impart wisdom to women who may need it.  I hope that I am not coming across too preachy because that is not my intention.  I simply hope that the things that I write will shed light on issues that you may have never really given any thought to or help you in a situation that you didn't know how to handle.  They say the best lessons are bought ones and I am just trying to give you some lessons for free.
<script type="text/javascript">

  var _gaq = _gaq || [];
  _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-33622047-1']);
  _gaq.push(['_setDomainName', '']);

  (function() {
    var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
    ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '';
    var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);


Thursday, August 16, 2012

Let Me Clear Some Things Up From My Last Post

    This post is in response to a conversation that I had with a friend today who had a few things to say about my last post, From the Book of The Sexy Single Mommy Chapter 2 versus 1-3.  The part that he took issue with was the point that I made about men "investing" in women.  He felt like there would be some women who would read this post and think, "Yeah, that's what I need to do, have men start "investing" in me."  The problem with that he pointed out, " Is that these women are not on the same level as you.  They aren't bringing anything to the table, they don't take care of their business, let alone their kids and they they think a man is going to "invest" in that? That's not going to happen."
     After listening to his points, I had to admit that they were valid ones.  So valid, that I think that I need to state for the record that in order for a man to consider investing in you, then you need to be worth investing in.  You need to be bringing something to the table and that "something" needs to be more than ass.
     Ladies, take the time to work on you.  Get to know yourself and decide what you want in a man and a relationship.  All the things that you want in a man should be the same characteristics that you possess, as well. Then and only then will a good man find you worthy of investing in.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

From the Book of The Sexy Single Mommy Chapter 2 verses 1-3

     I know that some of you think that I come down pretty hard on women on my blog.  I don't think that it's a matter of coming down hard on ladies but a matter of imparting some wisdom to those who are going out the world ass backwards.
     Some of these woman may have never had anyone to break it down for them before.  Others may not have had a mother or sisters who kept it real with them.  While there may be a few that are just so damn hard headed that they don't want to hear the truth.  Whatever the case may be, when I said that I was going to keep it 100 with y'all, I planned on doing just that.  This blog is no holds barred and if nothing else, "You gonna learn today!" (In my Kevin Hart voice)
     Some of you ladies are making poor choices.  You are giving men too much power and allowing them to treat you how ever they want to.  It's not until you get totally feed up that you want to put your foot down.  By that time, Boo, it's too late.  When you allow a man to do and say whatever they want to you...that's a problem!  If you have no standards, then of course a man will treat you any kind of way.  Let me break some things down for you.
     If you allow yourself to be "just" a booty call and that's all that the two of you do, how can you expect after being a "piece of ass" for 6 months, that you can demand that he start to take you out?  Why now?  Why not in the beginning? Is it because you have caught feelings for him?  Now you want him to be your "man" and do stuff that people in a "real" relationship do?  If you don't get the fuck out of here with that bullshit!!
     Ladies, you have to demand respect from the beginning. Not in the middle of the game.  The problem is that some of you women want to be the man.  You think that you can have sex and not have emotions.  Some women can but most can't.  When you give up the ass from the gate then want him to start doing shit with you like going on dates, family functions, etc. you are highly delusional!  What part of the game is that?  I am sorry to tell you, Sweetie, but you played yourself!
     Now let me say that every now and then, you may get one that after complaining that all you do is have sex, MAY take you to the movies to shut you up, but trust me when I say, if you are thinking that he is going to be your man, you are mistaken. That ain't going to happen because he has already labeled you as an "easy piece of ass" and who wants someone like that to be their woman?
     You messed up from the beginning by choosing to lay down with a man who didn't give a damn about you.  If he was any kind of man, he would have tried to take you out and get to know you from the start.  ON THE OTHER HAND, IF YOU WERE ANY KIND OF WOMAN YOU WOULD HAVE MADE SURE THAT HE SHOWED YOU SOME RESPECT AND YOU SHOULD HAVE DEMANDED THAT RESPECT!  
     So now you are probably wondering what do you do now?  How do I demand respect from men?  Ladies, it's really very simple.  Be a LADY!  Respect yourself and carry yourself like a lady.  Don't go smiling up in every mans face that approaches you or shows you some attention. You should be picky!  Have some standards and spend time getting to know a man.  Let him take you out.  A man who will take you out and spend time with you is showing that he is willing to make an investment in you.  If a man is not willing to spend any money or time with you, he is showing you that he doesn't think that you are worth it and he is not interested in investing in you.  Don't give up the ass so soon.  Make him work for it.  The saying, "All good things come to those who wait" holds true here.  Make him wait for your good thing!  There is power in the p!  Don't be no fool!  Use your powers wisely!!

    <script type="text/javascript">

  var _gaq = _gaq || [];
  _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-33622047-1']);
  _gaq.push(['_setDomainName', '']);

  (function() {
    var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
    ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '';
    var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);


Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Am I The Bomb Diggity? Yes, I Am! Guess Who Got Nominated For Another Award?

     *Dancing Around*  I have done it again!  I have been nominated for another award!

      I would like to thank everyone who has taken the time read my blog, post comments and share it with others.  I have THE BEST followers!  I would also like to thank  for the nomination.  I appreciate your acknowledgement.
     I am SO happy that in such a short period of time that I have been recognized by my peers.  Often times, I have been asked, "Why do you blog?  Do you make money?"  My answer to that is, "I blog because writing is my passion.  Yes, I can make money from it but if I never did, I would still do it."
    With this nomination, I would like to pay it forward and nominate some other bloggers who are fairly new to the game but are pretty damn awesome!

Here are some fun and interesting facts about me:

  • I am a shopaholic
  • I put thousand island dressing on my spaghetti (my own plate, not the pot!)
  • I can't sleep with my closet door open (Yes, I am afraid of the Boogie Monster)
  • I am a Reality Show Addict (Look at my Facebook and Twitter feeds on Monday nights)
  • When I make tacos, I take my finger and use it to mix up the sour cream, hot sauce, etc.(My sister hates when I do this)
  • I can not stand a lair
  • I love being in charge
  • I am OBSESSED with hair.  (If I had all the money that I spent on it, I would be very wealthy!)
  • I love Old School R&B and Old School Hip Hop (you could actually understand what the hell they were saying)
  • I'm more spiritual than people think (God is still working on me)
  • I think about sex 3-5 times a day (Don't judge me. If I can't do it then I may as well THINK about it!)

What are the rules?
  1. Nominate 15 fellow bloggers who are relatively new to blogging.
  2. Let the nominated bloggers know that they have been nominated for this award.
  3. Share 7 random facts about yourself. 
  4. Thank the blogger who has nominated you. 
  5. Add the Versatile Blogger Award picture to your post

Sunday, August 12, 2012

This Is What Happens When You Try To Turn a Ho Into a Housewife

     DANG!  They have only been married for a month and Chad Ochocino (Johnson) has been arrested for domestic battery involving his wife, Evelyn Lozada.  Reportedly the argument started when Evelyn found a receipt for condoms in their Maserati.  During the argument, Evelyn reported that Chad headbutted her and she received a 3" laceration on her forehead.  As a result of his arrest, the Miami Dolphins have released him from his contract.   My question to Chad would be, "Damn, how could you be so careless to leave a receipt for condoms laying around?  Then I have to ask myself, "Did you really expect anything better from him?"
     If you have ever watched a couple of episodes of "Basketball Wives" then I am sure that you have witnessed the antics of Evelyn and her friends.  To see a group of women, often lead by Evelyn, cuss out, throw things and physically fight one another is ridiculous.  Evelyn was often at the center of these fights and after hearing about the situation between her and Chad, I have to wonder if things REALLY went down the way that she said they did and if so, then Karma is a MF, isn't it?
     Now before some of you get all worked up, let me state for the record, I do NOT condone domestic violence. I don't think that any man should put their hands on a woman.  However, when you deal with a woman who has a track record for drama and violence like Evelyn, something of this nature was bound to happen sooner or later.
     Let me break it down for those of you who don't know the history of Evelyn...she had a 10 year relationship with NBA player, Antonie Walker during which they were engaged.  Documented on "Basketball Wives," she confessed to sleeping with NBA player, Kenny Anderson while he was still married to now ex-wide, Tammi Roman.  She met Chad on Twitter and they corresponded by Skype and phone.  As documented on the show, "Basketball Wives," her first time meeting Chad, she told him that she did not need the hotel room that he got her and that she would be staying with him.  They had sex the first day she actually meet him in person.
     On the show, she has jumped over tables, thrown bottles and fought other women over dumb stuff like gossip.  She has shown herself to be violent and hot headed in the public eye.
     Now I said all that to say this, as a single mother of a daughter, Evelyn should have set a better example.  The image that she portrayed on "Basketball Wives" was despicable and she should be ashamed of herself. Not only did she portray herself to be a bully and very unlady like, to allow yourself to be filmed telling a man that you just met face to face that you would be staying with him and let him carry you to the bedroom is embarrassing.
     She knew what she was getting into when she decided to marry Chad because they discussed him cheating and damn near an open marriage on the show.  Per their conversation, he agreed to tell her if he wanted to have sex with someone else.  I don't know any women who would go for that!
     We may never know what "actually" happened between the two of them unless one of them decides to make a statement but in the meantime there are somethings that we do know:  they should never have gotten married, Chad is now unemployed because of all the drama, Karma is a bitch and most importantly YOU CAN'T TURN A HO INTO A HOUSEWIFE. 

Good Guys VS Bad Guys ...Are You Still Single Because You Are Choosing The Wrong One?

     Single ladies, we may not think about it every day but it is in the back of our heads every time we receive that wedding invitation in the mail or see that someone has changed their status on Facebook to  "engaged."  "When will I find my Mr. Right?"   
     Among the women that I consider "close" friends, only 4 are married, 2 are divorced and the remainder of us have never been married. We are all in our mid 30's and early 40's and when I look at our white counterparts, I have to wonder what is it that we are doing wrong? The stats tell us that there is a shortage of eligible black men but are we pushing away the eligible ones and choosing the unavailable ones?
     Ladies, you know the ones that I am speaking of.  Let me list them for you:
  • married men
  • the men that are in relationships
  • the men with the bomb sex but can't offer anything else
  • the thug
  • emotionally unavailable men
  • the players and lairs
     I have to wonder if many of us are still single because we continue to choose the "wrong" guys and let the "good" ones get away?  Are some of us settling for a "piece" of a man for the sake of saying that we have a man? Are we okay with that?
     When did it become okay to resign ourselves to a life of unhappiness and often time loneliness when dealing one of these unavailable men? For those of you who are dealing with married men, what do you tell yourself on holidays when you don't see him because he is with his family? Are you REALLY cool with that or have you convinced yourself that you knew the job was going to be crazy when you took it and your okay with the situation?  Or have you not realized that the reason that when you don't see him on holidays, don't talk to him late at night and hasn't taken you around his family is because he is married? 
     It's funny how so many of us are willing to accept the bad behavior of unavailable men when the available men are right there but we don't bother to give him any play? Let's explore why the available men are not as appealing to us as the unavailable men are.
The reasons why we reject the available men are:
  • They are boring
  • They are squares
  • They have no backbone
  • They don't have any drama
  • They aren't exciting

     And we wonder why we are alone?  Where did we learn that is unacceptable to be with a man who doesn't have any drama or who is a "square" AKA a good guy.  So many women are used to the drama that comes along with the bad boys that when we get with someone who is drama free, we don't know how to act and begin to create drama for the sake of having some type of drama going on. Thus we scare off the available men and run back into the bed of the bad boy.
     Once we become old enough to realize that if we want to become "wifey" we better start acting fast and that available man begins to look more and more appealing.  We become involved with the available guy not because we are trying to fall in love but because we realize that we are getting older and don't want to be single for the rest of our lives.  The available man is safe and stable.  They are usually good providers and if we played our cards right, they are "in love" with us.  So much so that we convince him that we need a ring, which he presents and we say yes out of convenience, not because we love him.  We are "in love" with what he can provide us with and that is the title of "wife" so many of us seek.  "I can learn to love him," we tell ourselves and maybe one day we can but for now, we will accept his ring and nice, drama free life that he can provide but are we "truly" happy?
     On our honeymoons are we fantasizing about the bad boy that used to beat our backs out and wish that he was the one making love to us?  Sometimes some of us get so caught up in this fantasy world that we believe that we can have our cake and eat it too because our husbands aren't the men that we thought they may one day become and creep off to hook up with the bad guy.
     This may seem like an exaggeration but it happens every day when women who are attracted to the unavailable man and crave the drama that he brings, decides to get with the available man but still lusts after the bad boy.  She only married the good guy for what he could provide for her and hopefully she can learn to love her husband.
     Sometimes some of us need to go through some thangs to realize that the person that we are supposed to be with may be right in front of our faces, even if he is a "square" and drama free.  Even if we have yet to meet our, "Mr. Right," we need to stop overlooking the good guys and start avoiding the ones that don't have our best interest at heart. Many of us, single ladies who are running around crying that we can't find a man are the same ones that are quick to hook up with the Bad Guys. We need to start evaluating our choices and place ourselves in better positions to met men who are available, then maybe our chances of becoming "wifey" may improve. 
<script type="text/javascript">

  var _gaq = _gaq || [];
  _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-33622047-1']);
  _gaq.push(['_setDomainName', '']);

  (function() {
    var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
    ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '';
    var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);


Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Women, If You Don't Knock It Off!

     Women, what's up with these "subliminal" messages that you are trying to send men of Facebook and Twitter?  What were you doing before social media, sending smoke signals?  I swear if I come across another Facebook message like, "Your with her but you still love me."  Really?  Do you think that man is really tripping off of you?  He is not on-line sending you subliminal messages.  Trust me, he is NOT tripping off of you!
     We have all been there before.  When the man that you care about pisses you off and you just want to vent and instead of  calling a friend,(which I warned you about in a previous post, see link below) we get on Facebook and Twitter, vent and go on and on about this "idiot", without saying the "idiot's" name and after we have got it all out, the "idiot" is still going on with his life because he either:  is not tripping off of you, isn't your friend on Facebook or Twitter or AGAIN, is not tripping off of you.
     Ladies, guys don't care about nor do they trip on stuff like that.  9 times out of 10, they really don't give a damn about what you put out there, especially when you didn't say their names. When was the last time you read a post like that and the guy responded to it?  Take a moment and think about it.  NEVER, right?
     So ladies, before you take to Facebook and Twitter ranting and raving about what the "idiot" did or did not do, think to yourself, "Will I feel better after this" or "will I look like a fool for dealing with an idiot like this in the first place?" Hopefully after taking a minute to think about it, we won't write that post or tweet after all.

<script type="text/javascript">

  var _gaq = _gaq || [];
  _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-33622047-1']);
  _gaq.push(['_setDomainName', '']);

  (function() {
    var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
    ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '';
    var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);


Monday, August 6, 2012

Men, Stop Texting and CALL!

     Why is it that texting has taken the place of actually picking up the phone and CALLING someone?  When did it become acceptable to send a text saying, "Wassup," to a woman that you are interested in?  Is that the best you got?  "Wassup?"  Spare me, please! 
     Gone are the days when men would call you and talk to you on the phone.  Now men want to text entire conversations and instead of a phone call starting with, "Hello.  How are you?" We get a text saying, "Wassup."  What has the world come to?  I just don't understand why a man can not articulate a simple, "Hello.  How are you today?" Is it that hard?  It's like you have to train men on proper phone and text etiquette right from the start.  I don't want to do it but I have to start "training" them from day one on what my expectations are.  I have to require that they call and not "just" text and that they call with a proper greeting and not a ghetto ass, "Wassup."  If you don't let them know what you require and respond to these texts, you end up holding entire conversations via text. 
     If you have been following me, then you have read my blog, "Hell No! You Can't Come See Me," so you already know what my response to "wassup" is but I try not to go there initially.  I give men the benefit of the doubt at least once, especially in the beginning, because he doesn't know me but I make sure that I am clear about what I expect.  Ladies, if you are not upfront about your expectations and you respond to the "wassup" texts, an entire conversation ensues and he begins to think that it is okay to communicate with you in this manner.  Now, don't misunderstand me, I am not saying that you can never text one another, but if you NEVER or very RARELY talk to him on the phone, then that's a problem. Besides, I don't know about you but it is easier to just say what you need to say on the phone instead of trying to type everything and make sure that you are spelling everything correctly for fear of looking like an illiterate fool via text.  
     It all becomes very annoying and I have to wonder if I am going to ever find someone who I don't have to "teach" how to court a woman?  It baffles me that something so easy can be so damn hard.  Is it just me, ladies?  Those of you who are single, give me some feedback on men and texting. What have been your experiences and how have you dealt with it.  Enquiring minds want to know.  

Sunday, August 5, 2012

Contributors Wanted

     It's about that time.  The Sexy Single Mommy is expanding.  Although I have only been at this since May, I have decided to do some things differently, so I am looking for contributors.
     Many of you have some great blogs and have a niche for different subjects.  Even if you are not a "blogger," I am still interested in what you can contribute.  The subjects that I am looking for are:  Dating & Relationships, Parenting, Health & Beauty (which includes fashion), Kids (all things pertaining to), Product Reviews, Men (issues and subjects written by and pertaining to) and Blogs.  If there is something that you would like to contribute that does not fit under these subjects, please let me know.  I may be able to use it as a feature.  This will be an ongoing process with the new design and first articles being published in September.
     Here is the link to the guidelines for contributors
     I look forward to working with you all.  Happy writing!

Friday, August 3, 2012

I Am NOT The Perfect Mom

     Contrary to popular belief, I am NOT the perfect mom.  Far from it, if truth be told.  I do not pretend to do everything right, because I don't.  I didn't get the memo or read the book with the instructions of what a "perfect mom's does."  I march to the beat of my own drum, take things a day at a time, make up things as I go and occasionally mess up. 
     Since I have been off work, I cook dinner more than I have in the last 6 years.  When I was working 50+ hours a week, it would be take out at least 3-4 days and I would cook on my days off.  Although, I have to confess that when I cook,  I don't always make a green vegetable because there aren't very many of them that I like and I don't cook stuff that I don't like.  If I am going to be very honest here, I don't cook a lot of vegetables, period.  Now, I have this picky little boy, who like his mother, either doesn't like or is unwilling to try any new foods.  We are both meat lovers and could probably eat meat and nothing else all the time, but I won't go that far.
     Since I started my quest to lose weight, I have been cooking things differently, not so much fried, etc. and I have been adding more veggies in.  Although my son doesn't like trying new stuff,  I encourage him to at least try it.  If he doesn't like it, then at least he tried.  I don't believe in, like my mother and grandmother, that you have to sit at the table until you eat all your food.  That concept is just asinine to me.  I remember having to sit for hours at my grandmother's table because I would not eat hot water cornbread, on several occasions.  If you know I don't like hot water cornbread, why would you keep giving it to me?  As I sit here and recollect today, it seems as though there was some type of power struggle to prove who was in charge between my grandmother and I.  Her stand was that a child had no say on what they were going to eat because they didn't buy the food.  My stand was that I didn't like hot water cornbread and I was NOT going to eat it, even if I had to sit at that table all day.  Let's just say that I never ate that damn nasty ass cornbread.  YUCK!
    I am not a domestic goddess.  I go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink.  If we are running late, I do not require that my son make his bed.  There are many of days that I don't make my own bed.  I am going to get back into it, right?  I have hired a maid on several occasions because I didn't want to do spring cleaning or cleaning, period, for that matter.  I wish that I can find a maid that would put away the laundry after I wash it. Otherwise, it may sit in the living room for a day or two, or three or four.
     I don't obsess about the little stuff.  It's not that serious to me.  If my son eats pizza for breakfast, so what?  At least he ate.  If my house does not look like Molly Maid just left 7 days a week, AND?  It is, what it is.  If requiring that my son eats veggies with every meal, having an immaculate house and ensuring that the laundry is put away promptly are the requirements for being the perfect mom, then I would receive an epic fail.  But if supporting my son in all that he does, ensuring that he receives the best education, instilling his faith in God, teaching him life skills and showing him how to be self reliant, are signs of a good mom, then I would say that I am doing a pretty damn good job.  Still far from perfect but a pretty damn good, all the same.
<script type="text/javascript">

  var _gaq = _gaq || [];
  _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-33622047-1']);
  _gaq.push(['_setDomainName', '']);

  (function() {
    var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true;
    ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '';
    var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s);


Thursday, August 2, 2012

School Starts For Them & "Me" Time Starts For Us

    School starts in four days and I am beginning to feel a little giddy. Although my son goes to a year round school and only gets a month off instead of two and a half, I am just as wore out as the moms who have been trying to keep their children busy all summer.  As the mother of one, there is no one else to play with.  I am the playmate.  I have to pretend that I am some sort of Pokemon or one of Sonic's friends. I have my own account on Toontown and Club Penguin, so I can be on my laptop while he is on his so we can interact on the sites.  I have also been summer school teacher, checking workbooks and book reports , lifeguard and chaperon.  I can go on and on, with all the things that I am sure many of you mothers can relate to.
     On August 6th, I will driving up to my son's school with a smile on my face and saying "good morning" to every parent that I see.  I can imagine that all parents will be exchanging knowing glances and big smiles at one another and I am sure that some of them will be fist pumping once we walk away from their children's classes after meeting their teachers.  As we drive away, many of us will release a sigh of release that summer vacation is over and we now have a couple of hours to ourselves before we pick them up.
     This past month, I have missed having lunch with my friends, my weekly massages and being able to shop ALONE!  I have longed for being able to relax after the gym, getting into the jacuzzi without my son splashing water and screaming, "Mom, look what I can do" as he performs varies tricks in the water.  Just to have a quiet house for a couple of hours is a dream come true.  What I am not looking forward to is waking up early but hey, it is give and take, right?
     So, this Sunday as I iron my son's clothes for the week, ensure that he has his backpack ready with new supplies and sitting at the front door and get him to bed by 9, I will be anticipating the hours until I drop him off for his first day in 4th grade and I know that I will join some of the other parents in a little fist pump and a couple of high fives as we celebrate the first day of school for our children and a couple of hours of "me" time for ourselves.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Shopaholic? Yes, That's Me!

     I am a shopaholic!  Yes, I am!  The first step is to admit that you have a problem and I can admit it!  I am not sure that I would call it a "problem" though.  Maybe we can just call it a slight disability.  Oh hell, let's call it what it is, (sometimes), a damn PROBLEM!
     I am sure that many of you can relate to the need for some retail therapy every now and then but I need retail therapy daily.  Sometimes, it doesn't have to be actually buying something but at least a couple of times a day, I am on the websites of some of my favorite stores, looking to see what they have new, what's on sale and what can I buy.
     Lately, I have been trying to make more of an effort to not shop... as much.  The problem is that everyday and I do mean, EVERYDAY,  I have a new email from a store (s) coaxing me in with "new arrivals," shop today and get 20 % off," "Friends & Family, get 15% for 3 days or "spend $100 and get $25 off."  How can I resist?  I REALLY feel as though there is a conspiracy to make me shop on a daily basis!
     Per my BFF, "Bargain Betty," I need to get the most for my money.  She bargains shops and really does pretty good at it.  Me, on the other hand, not so much!  Yes, I like a good deal as much as the next woman but I am not dissuaded by something that is not on sale.  If I want it, I buy it.  Even if it is a couple of hundred.  I also don't believe in layaway.  I want it NOW!  I don't want to wait to take it home.  That's like teasing me with something that I can't have at the moment and I never did like a tease! 
     Let's face it, as long as there are malls and the Internet and I have money, I will be shopping.  I don't use credit.  I pay cash for everything and for items that I purchase on the Internet, I have a prepaid card that I use for fear to have it linked to my bank account.  My shopping has not put me into debt and to my advantage, I have always worked in retail, so although I am not like my friend, "Bargain Betty," I have always taken advantage of my employee discount.
     Some people are addicted to drugs, cigarettes and things that can physically do them harm.  Shopping is an addiction that can't physically harm you, however, like a drug, it can give you a high.  When I purchase something I feel as though I am on a retail high.  I float through the stores like Spike Lee floated through his movies...on Cloud 9.  If shopping is my drug then I want no part of recovery and although it can be a problem in that I have a house full of stuff that I forget I have or that I don't need, I would rather be a shopaholic and be happy then not being able to shop at all and be extremely sad.  Shopping to me is happiness! 

Monday, July 30, 2012

For Paris Jackson & Every Other Kid Who Uses Social Media: What Happens In This House, Stays In This House

     "What happens in this house, stays in this house!"  I know many of you have heard your parents say that as you were growing up.  I am sure that you have also heard the saying, "Family business is family business."  After reading and seeing what is going on in the media between Michael Jackson's kids  I am convinced that they have never heard either of those sayings.
     It is one thing to have an "ordinary" family like all of us (so to speak) but when you have a family that is in the public eye, it is even more important to shut the hell up when it comes to putting your family business out in the streets.  Now a days with social media, it only takes one tweet to start a media uproar and that is exactly what Paris Jackson did when she tweeted, "yes , my grandmother is missing . i haven't spoken with her in a week i want her home now." Then later that same day, she tweeted, "the same doctor that testified on behalf of dr murray saying my father was a drug addict (a lie) is caring for my grandmother... just sayin/"  WTH was she thinking? Did she not understand what the the repercussions would be by just hitting "send" on those two tweets?  Obviously not!
      Allegedly when Janet Jackson went to her mother's house to take away the phones and computers from the kids to prevent them from continuing to tweet,etc. she had a physical altercation with Paris, slapping her and calling her "a spoiled little bitch."  Then Paris, proceeded to return a slap to her aunt and said, "This is our house. Not the Jackson family house. Get the f**k out!" 
     Now, I don't know about how any of you were raised, but that type of disrespect would not have been tolerated in my household as a kid and to this day would not be tolerated.  You are to respect your elders!  Period!  I am not sure what the Jackson children have been taught as it relates to family, respecting your elders and speaking when spoken to but I can tell you what they HAVEN'T been taught and that is to keep family business private and to respect your elders.
     Many parents of my generation have strayed away from the way that were brought up and have for whatever reason decided to do things differently then their parents did.  I get that, however, why change things that are tried and tested?  Somethings I do agree should change though.  Many of us that grew up in African American families had parents that believed in "spare the rod, spoil the child," and had the hell beat out of them for any transgression.  Many of us, have changed this in the upbringing of our own children but that doesn't mean that their shouldn't be consequences for their actions.
      In the case of Paris Jackson, I'm sorry but I would have to revert to the ways of some of our elders and like Gladys Knight said when speaking about the situation between Janet and Paris Jackson, "If (Paris) called me that, she would have no teeth."  To that I have to say, "AMEN!"

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Thank God For Another Year!

     39 years ago today, I made my debut in this world, raising hell after putting my mother through 9 hours of labor.  My "ball of fire" personality changed the lives of my parents and all those who have been fortunate enough to call me a "friend" through out my 39 years.  To say that there isn't any one like me, would be an understatement. I march to the beat of my own drum. I am independent, outspoken, loyal, and very opinionated, ( as if you didn't know that already from reading my blog).  I am also a terrific mommy (so my son tells me), an outstanding daughter (so my mom tells me), the best sister (so my sissy's tell me) and a great friend (so I tell myself).   
     As I take the time today to reflect on the past 39 years, I have to first Thank God for allowing me to see another year and for keeping me and blessing me.  I also have to say thank you to my parents who gave me life and to my mom for guiding me and teaching me what it is to be a strong woman.  Much thanks is also due to my siblings who have probably taken the brunt of my abuse in the form of my smart mouth.  LOL!  Also thanks to the rest of my family and friends who have loved and supported me for the past 39 years.
     This journey called life has been filled with good and bad times and I have received some bumps and bruises along the way but all in all, I wouldn't change a thing because they have made me who I am today.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Parents of Teens, You Are NOT Their Friend. Step Up & Be Their Parent

     Let me start by saying that I am not the mother of a teenager.  Not yet anyway.  However, I have several friends who are parents to teens and oh baby, I am not sure if I am ready for that part of parenting. I still have 4 years until my son is "officially" a teen so I guess it is time to start prepping both of us for those teenage years.
     I know some of you are probably wondering how can you "prep" for the teenage years?  I would think that you can prep for it just as you would anything else.  I have read some blogs written by mothers of tweens and teens and when I read a blog about how disrespectful the child was, I want to leave a comment saying, "And they lived to tell the story?"  Although I have a very different parenting style than my mother, we are very alike in that we will NOT tolerate disrespect of a child.  How are you going to disrespect me, the person who is feeding, clothing and providing shelter for you?  The person who makes sure that you have all the things that a child could want and need.  OH NO!  NOT UP IN HERE!  You need to "prep" your child be putting some fear of you into their butts!
     Now I know that some of my followers will gasp and cover their mouths when they read what I am about to write and that's okay.  However, you run your house and raise your children the way that you want to but while your are sending your child to the corner in a "time out" for being disrespectful, I will be doing something much different.  You figure it out.  Although if you raise a child to honor their elders and those in authority, you more than likely will not have that problem when they become a teenager.
     When I was growing up, I was scared as hell of my mother.  My mother did not play.  If she said something she meant it and as a teenager, if I got out of line, best believe my mom was knocking you out.  She was like Mike Tyson back in the 80's and early 90's.  You had better learn how to duck and dodge. LOL!!  Some kids have no problem talking crazy to their parents because their parents don't do or say anything, thus, they will continue to do what they can get away with. In my house growing up, you couldn't get away with anything and you were probably crazy to think that you could.  Every kid wants to say something smart to their parents when they feel like their parent is being unfair.  If your child fears you, like we did my mother, you would NEVER fix your mouth to say something crazy, unless you wanted to be picking yourself off the floor or searching for your teeth.
     More parents today need to put fear in their children instead of trying to be their "friend" or worrying about their child not "liking" them.  I wouldn't give a damn if my child never liked me but he will respect me!  That I know for a fact!  I am his mother, NOT his friend.  Friends don't buy your clothes and shoes.  Friends don't pay the mortgage or rent.  Friends don't make sure that you have food to eat, water to wash your butt and electricity to play those video games that they didn't buy!  Friends don't care if you fail or do well.  Your parents do!  Don't get it twisted parents who feel like you need to be a friend to your child.  If God meant for you to be their friend, he wouldn't have made that child to be yours! PERIOD!  You have a responsibility to your children to raise them and give them structure.  That is your job!!

I WON A BLOGGER AWARD!!! (Oops...Nominated! LMAO)

     I always knew it would happen.  I just didn't know how long it would take.  I have been nominated for The Sunshine Blogger Award.  I am very excited that one of my blogger peers loved my blog enough to nominate me.  Thank you Brittney!  Stop by her page and say HEY to her!!
     As part of my nomination I had to answer 10 questions.  Here are the questions and my answers:

1. What do you feel your purpose is in life?
To share my experiences and knowledge with women and to share my gift of writing.

2. What is your favorite book?
True 2 the Game by Teri Woods

3. Who or what inspires you most in life?
I am inspired by my mother and my son.

4. Would your rather donate time or money?

5. What are your best qualities?
I am loyal and a leader.

6. If you were an organ in the body which would you be and why?
It would be the heart because like me, you can not live without it.

7. Why do you blog?
I blog to share my insight and experiences with others.

8. What is your greatest accomplishment?
My son is my greatest accomplishment.

9. Who is your role model/ hero and why?
My mother is my hero because she is the greatest example of what a strong women is. She raised 4 children alone while working as a teacher and at times working a second job as well, to ensure that we went to private school and had everything that we needed.

10. If you could be anything or anyone in the world,what would it be and why?
I would be myself because I am THEBOMB.Com!!  I would also be a best selling author (already) because it is my destiny. Just wait!!

Also, as part of my nomination I have to nominate 10 other bloggers for this award, so here it goes:

Here are my questions for my nominees to answer:

  1. What’s your favorite movie of all time and why?
  2.  Would you rather watch a sitcom, a reality show, a police drama, a legal drama , or a medical drama? Or something else? 
  3.  What would you do if you had a million dollars?
  4.  What was your favorite game to play as a child?
  5. Why did you start writing a Blog?
  6. What is your favorite The Sexy Single Mommy post?
  7.  Would you rather be good looking or rich?
  8.  Would you rather have super strength or super intelligence?
  9.  What one thing are you most proud of?
  10.   What, if anything, would make you leave your career?

Congrats to my nominees and here are the rules to nominate other bloggers:

1. Include award logo in a post or on your blog page. 2. Answer (10) questions about yourself. 3. Nominate 10-12 other fabulous bloggers. 4. Link your nominees to the post and comment on their blog, letting them know about the award. 5. Share the love and link the person who nominated you.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Nothing Like a Cute Maxi Dress

     I have always been a "girly girly."  I LOVE to dress up in dresses and maxi dresses would happen to be my favorite right now.  I love them because you are able to dress them up or down given the occasion. I am 5'10 and the length of maxi dresses are perfect for me. Since I have become a Pinterest addict, I wanted to share some of my favorite dresses and ensembles with you.  Hopefully, I can give a little inspiration to those of you who like to rock a cute maxi dress every now and then.  Let me know what you think of my selections.  If you like these, check me out at Pinterest  What's your favorite item for the summer in your closet?

    The following are pictures of entire ensembles for those of you who need a little help pulling it all together.

This Can't Be Life

     I often think about these things called "life" and "death."  You know, why am I here?  What is my purpose?  Why do we have to die and all that kind of stuff.  When I think about those things, I think about history and my ancestors and all the things that they, as African Americans had to go through.  I wonder if they ever questioned, "Is this really my life?"  I question why one group of people had to endure so much pain and misery at the hands of another race and their only crime was the color of their skin?  It just doesn't seem fair to have to live with the fear of death on a daily basis.  Not of dying from old age or illness but for the color of your skin.  It is an awful thought that at times brings me to tears, but I am also amazed at the strength that my ancestors had to have in order to survive during Slavery, all the way through the Civil Rights Movement and shit, things are not as bad as they were but you still have to have a great deal of strength to be an African American today.
     Can you imagine women who were continuously raped by men who did so because they could and who raped them because they "owned" them.  Imagine these same women who had to give birth to children who were the products of these rapes and see their rapist stare back at them when they looked into the eyes of their child and who more times than not, had to look at their rapist on a daily basis and act like nothing happened.  Imagine being a mother knowing that at anytime your very own children could be sold and you would never in your lifetime see them again.  How heartbreaking is that?
What about the women who watched their husbands, fathers and brothers lynched right in front of them for the sheer reason that a group of people could and did get away with it?  Could you imagine that?  You would have to be strong as hell to have to deal with so much heartache in one lifetime.
     As I think about all that my ancestors had to go through, I am reminded of the Jay Z song that says, "This can't be life.  There's got to be more.  This can't be us."  I wonder if they would have been singling this in the cotton fields as they worked sunup to sundown, receiving no pay, bullshit living arrangements and scraps to eat.  You had to be very strong to endure a life like this and look death in the face on a daily basis.  Yet, through it all, they believed that God would see them through.  They believed when they were raped, beaten, when their families were sold away, when they were hanging from a tree.  They believed and stood on faith.  Could you have done that?  I wonder if they every questioned why God would allow them to have to go through so much?  I wonder if they asked God, "why me?"  I wonder if they, like myself, ever wondered why God would allow such things to happen?
     Now, fast forward some 100 or so years later, when the unimaginable happens, i.e. the Massacre in Colorado, you have to wonder how in the heck was this all in God's plan?  Since God knows us before we are born and knows every aspect of our lives and how it will end, did he know that innocent people would die when going to the movies by a crazy person or does the devil supersede God's plans and things happen that he didn't foresee?  I mean really, why would you plan for someone to die in such horrific ways?  I don't get that.  I especially don't get when people say after someone has died, "that it was God's will."  REALLY?  How fucked up is that? God really planned for innocent children to be gunned down, people dying in fires, lynched, from diseases, etc is all in "the plan?" I don't understand that!  Don't get me wrong, I believe in God but I just hate the concept of having to die one day and I hate even more that some people have to die in such a horrendous fashion.  Hell, if we have to die why can't we all just go peacefully in our sleep? Why do some people have to suffer before death?  Is this all the fault of that bitch, Eve?  She messed up eternal life for all of us.  She single handily screwed us all up for a damn apple?  Then, the people in the time of Abraham had to start acting a damn fool and God reduced everyone's lifespan to 120 years.  I swear, some people really can mess some shit up!  Thus here we are in 2012, dying way to young and some of us are enduring unimaginable suffering all around the world and have been doing so throughout the pages of history.  Left alone with all of these thoughts I begin to hum to myself, "This can't be life. There's gotta be more.  This can't be us!"