Tuesday, July 17, 2012

You're a Mom. You Don't Have a Social Life Anymore. Sit Your Ass Down!

     When I decided to become a mom, I knew that some things needed to change.  Two of those things were running the streets and partying all the time.  I didn't want to be the type of mother who could always be found in a club or a party, while my child was at home with a sitter or relative.  Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with going out every now and then, but when you are a mom and in the club 3 to 5 times a week and your "social life" is more important to you than being an "active" parent to your child, that's a problem.
     Some moms would like to debate the fact that their children are in bed, asleep when they leave the house.  My response is, "So, your point is?"  Just because you go out after your kids are asleep, doesn't mean that you should be partying all the time.  I believe that once you decide to have a child, some things need to come to an end.  Due to the fact that you are responsible for the well being of someone else, you need to be at home.
     I know that when you are a single mom, you can get very lonely and want to talk to and be around other adults.  Trust me, I get that but at the same time, if you wanted to run the streets all the time, leaving the responsibility of watching your child to someone else, or leaving your child responsible for taking care of themselves, then you should not have had children.  If something were to happen to your child while you were out partying, what would you do?  Would it be worth your child getting hurt while you ran the streets several nights a week?
     There are other single moms who feel like they "deserve to do them" and spend time with their "boo."  Again, I get that but there are some things that you sacrifice when you become a mother.  "Doing you" is one of them.  It's no longer all about you.  You chose to have a child, so you need to be more worried about "doing them" than "doing you!"
     As far as spending time with your boo, any man worth his salt that really wanted to be with you, will accept your child as well.  It's a package deal.  He can't get you without accepting them.  If you really have to explain this to a man, then you need to kick him to the curb...PRONTO!  If a man always wants to spend his time with you and never wants to incorporate your child into the ratio, then he is a man looking for one thing and it's not long term.

     The question then becomes, "how are you really parenting your child?"  Do you know what they are doing when you aren't around, especially those who are old enough or who you "think" are old enough to take care of themselves?  Are they spending all their time on the internet, instead of doing their homework?  Are you being an "active" parent, meaning that you are part of their every day to day life, especially when it comes to school and grades?  When was the last time that you went over their homework with them to ensure that it was done correctly or are you "taking their word for it" that they are doing what they are supposed to do?  If your child has a cell phone, have you reviewed the texts that they are sending and receiving? Do you know who their friends are and what type of families their friends come from?  These are just some of the things that "active" parents do.  Based on what I have seen, mothers who are too busy having a "social life" and not being "active" in the lives of their children, do not know or do not do any of the things that I just referred to.
      Ladies, if it is you that I am speaking of, you need to take a moment and check yourself.  Go ahead and reel yourself back in.  Get it together before it's too late.  You only get one chance at this job called motherhood.  There are no do over's.  The examples that you show your children today are the one's that they follow tomorrow.  The clubs and partying will still be there later.  You just may be too damn old to do that by then but would you rather say, "I raised a productive child" or "I partied well into my 50's?"  You make the decision.

12 comments:

  1. Now this is a great post. I was just saying to someone the other day about a person on twitter who goes to parties no less than 3 days a week and the weekends are filled with more parties plus she works a full time job. I am like when does she have the time to be a mother I seriously want to know. These kids grow up fast and you will miss something if you keep being on the go. It's nice to get out once in while but almost every day no ma'am.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I totally agree with you! Love the name of the post! lol

    http://allofthatgoodstuff.blogspot.ca/

    ReplyDelete
  3. I agree. There are so many women who are more interested in partying than being a mother and the child suffer as a result and it's not fair to them. I am glad that someone else is on the same page as me. Thanks for stopping by.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thanks Ty for this one..When you decide to have children it should be for the RIGHT reason...you are ready to be a Mom and make a home for them...give up the streets ladies...raise your children..maybe that's the reason so many teenagers are running wild..you can't wait to raise a child at twelve and up..it starts at 2yrs..when they understand No and Yes!..Great job on this one, Ty...you surely stacked it straight...

    ReplyDelete
  5. This! I have such a hard time understanding how parents can go out multiple times, while their kid or kids are with other people. It's irritating. There is a balance, and I think moms - especially moms should reward themselves, but I guess we all have our own vision of what "me time" is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There should be a balance but there are so many women out there that still want to party and that isn't the priority when they become a parent. They really need to get it together for the sake of their children.

      Delete
  6. Our child is grown and on his own, but when he was small we seldom went out. I'm glad we didn't because now we have all the time in the world to party but we'd give it all up to be able to spend a bit more time with our boy when he was small.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is the perfect example, Stephen. I know that once they get grown, we wish we could go back

      Delete
  7. Very well said TSSM, points well taken keep up the good work!

    El

    ReplyDelete