Tuesday, June 12, 2012

The Confession of a (Reformed) Female Player

     I WAS A PLAYER.  There!  I said it!  I have never said it before and have adamantly denied it for years.  I mean, who confesses to that?  Not me.  At least not out loud, anyway!    Before you get crazy and start having all kinds of thoughts, let me explain MY definition of a player. 
      This is my analogy...I have always made sure that like a basketball coach, I always had a team on the bench.  When my franchise player fouled out, I had someone who was ready to be put in the game.  Now, I know some of you who follow me are thinking, didn't she write a blog about being by yourself?  Yes, I did but these are totally different subjects.  Right now, I am talking about my "Pre-TJ Years," so rest assured, I am not contradicting myself but back to my definition.
     So, when you recruit for a team, you recruit people who are good at different things.  You know, some are good at hitting 3 point shots, some are good at defense, etc. I had some who were good about paying my bills, some who were good at buying things, some who I could talk to about any and everything, some who were a 'trophy, etc.  Now, if one started tripping or did something that I deemed as worthy of being "fouled out" than there was always someone else there to take their place.  When you have "fouled out" there is no get back, so their best bet was to act like a Free agent and get a contract with another team.  I replaced them with someone from the bench.  
      Now, for the record, not everyone who is on the team, gets to play in the game.  Some of the players ride the bench for a long time before they ever get to play and some never got to play at all.  They were traded before the season was even up or violated team rules, so they broke contract.
     I know all of this sounds crazy but I vowed to keep it 100 on here and if I'm lying, I'm flying and I ain't took off yet!
     I have often been told that I have a "man's mentality," thus, trying to run game and get over on me just wasn't happening.  The saying is true, "game recognize game" and I can smell bullshit a mile away.  
     I have always had the gift of gab, some would say a "mouthpiece" and it has worked to my advantage on many occasions but something happened to that mouthpiece and my boldness once I had my son.  Now, I'm not trying to be funny because I am oh, so serious about this but I lost my "game."  I mean, LOST IT!  I don't know if it was ejected when I was pushing my son out or what, but when I say it has left the building...I am not lying!!!
     Now a days, I am very much a homebody.  I have slowed down a lot.  Back then I used to party and run the streets.  That's what you do in your 20's, according to me.  I always believed that you should get all of that out of your system BEFORE you have kids.  Mothers should not be in the clubs every night when they have children at home. Point Blank.  Period!!
     To say that my son has brought me to a screeching halt would be an understatement. My day to day is all about him.  I don't really have very much time for anything and anyone else, thus part of why I am single.  It's really a trip when I look at myself, then and now.  Then it was about how I could come up.  Now, it's about making sure that my son has the best possible life.  I have never claimed to be a Saint.  Hell, none of us are and we all have a past. They say you live and you learn and Lord knows that I have learned a lot and change can be good! 


  1. You just make me laugh! Enjoying the blog, keep it coming.

  2. LMAO! You were a player and I was in the bleachers watching (big smile). Proud of you, my friend, your progression is right on point.

  3. I know I had somewhat of a shadowy past, but yes, we do learn from the error of our ways, and emerge stronger. Motherhood does change us, doesn't it? I'm sure your son will be so proud of you when he gets older.