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One Sexy Mommy's Adventures in Motherhood, Dating and A Whole Lot of Other Stuff That Mommy's Don't Talk About...Aloud.
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| Source: Sparkpeople.com |
This post is in response to a conversation that I had with a friend today who had a few things to say about my last post, From the Book of The Sexy Single Mommy Chapter 2 versus 1-3. The part that he took issue with was the point that I made about men "investing" in women. He felt like there would be some women who would read this post and think, "Yeah, that's what I need to do, have men start "investing" in me." The problem with that he pointed out, " Is that these women are not on the same level as you. They aren't bringing anything to the table, they don't take care of their business, let alone their kids and they they think a man is going to "invest" in that? That's not going to happen."
After listening to his points, I had to admit that they were valid ones. So valid, that I think that I need to state for the record that in order for a man to consider investing in you, then you need to be worth investing in. You need to be bringing something to the table and that "something" needs to be more than ass.
Ladies, take the time to work on you. Get to know yourself and decide what you want in a man and a relationship. All the things that you want in a man should be the same characteristics that you possess, as well. Then and only then will a good man find you worthy of investing in.
If you allow yourself to be "just" a booty call and that's all that the two of you do, how can you expect after being a "piece of ass" for 6 months, that you can demand that he start to take you out? Why now? Why not in the beginning? Is it because you have caught feelings for him? Now you want him to be your "man" and do stuff that people in a "real" relationship do? If you don't get the fuck out of here with that bullshit!!
Let me break it down for those of you who don't know the history of Evelyn...she had a 10 year relationship with NBA player, Antonie Walker during which they were engaged. Documented on "Basketball Wives," she confessed to sleeping with NBA
player, Kenny Anderson while he was still married to now ex-wide, Tammi
Roman. She met Chad on Twitter and they corresponded by Skype and phone. As documented on the show, "Basketball Wives," her first time meeting Chad, she told him that she did not need the hotel room that he got her and that she would be staying with him. They had sex the first day she actually meet him in person.
We may never know what "actually" happened between the two of them unless one of them decides to make a statement but in the meantime there are somethings that we do know: they should never have gotten married, Chad is now unemployed because of all the drama, Karma is a bitch and most importantly YOU CAN'T TURN A HO INTO A HOUSEWIFE.
When did it become okay to resign ourselves to a life of unhappiness and often time loneliness when dealing one of these unavailable men? For those of you who are dealing with married men, what do you tell yourself on holidays when you don't see him because he is with his family? Are you REALLY cool with that or have you convinced yourself that you knew the job was going to be crazy when you took it and your okay with the situation? Or have you not realized that the reason that when you don't see him on holidays, don't talk to him late at night and hasn't taken you around his family is because he is married?
On our honeymoons are we fantasizing about the bad boy that used to beat our backs out and wish that he was the one making love to us? Sometimes some of us get so caught up in this fantasy world that we believe that we can have our cake and eat it too because our husbands aren't the men that we thought they may one day become and creep off to hook up with the bad guy.
Since I started my quest to lose weight, I have been cooking things differently, not so much fried, etc. and I have been adding more veggies in. Although my son doesn't like trying new stuff, I encourage him to at least try it. If he doesn't like it, then at least he tried. I don't believe in, like my mother and grandmother, that you have to sit at the table until you eat all your food. That concept is just asinine to me. I remember having to sit for hours at my grandmother's table because I would not eat hot water cornbread, on several occasions. If you know I don't like hot water cornbread, why would you keep giving it to me? As I sit here and recollect today, it seems as though there was some type of power struggle to prove who was in charge between my grandmother and I. Her stand was that a child had no say on what they were going to eat because they didn't buy the food. My stand was that I didn't like hot water cornbread and I was NOT going to eat it, even if I had to sit at that table all day. Let's just say that I never ate that damn nasty ass cornbread. YUCK!