Friday, August 3, 2012

I Am NOT The Perfect Mom

     Contrary to popular belief, I am NOT the perfect mom.  Far from it, if truth be told.  I do not pretend to do everything right, because I don't.  I didn't get the memo or read the book with the instructions of what a "perfect mom's does."  I march to the beat of my own drum, take things a day at a time, make up things as I go and occasionally mess up. 
     Since I have been off work, I cook dinner more than I have in the last 6 years.  When I was working 50+ hours a week, it would be take out at least 3-4 days and I would cook on my days off.  Although, I have to confess that when I cook,  I don't always make a green vegetable because there aren't very many of them that I like and I don't cook stuff that I don't like.  If I am going to be very honest here, I don't cook a lot of vegetables, period.  Now, I have this picky little boy, who like his mother, either doesn't like or is unwilling to try any new foods.  We are both meat lovers and could probably eat meat and nothing else all the time, but I won't go that far.
     Since I started my quest to lose weight, I have been cooking things differently, not so much fried, etc. and I have been adding more veggies in.  Although my son doesn't like trying new stuff,  I encourage him to at least try it.  If he doesn't like it, then at least he tried.  I don't believe in, like my mother and grandmother, that you have to sit at the table until you eat all your food.  That concept is just asinine to me.  I remember having to sit for hours at my grandmother's table because I would not eat hot water cornbread, on several occasions.  If you know I don't like hot water cornbread, why would you keep giving it to me?  As I sit here and recollect today, it seems as though there was some type of power struggle to prove who was in charge between my grandmother and I.  Her stand was that a child had no say on what they were going to eat because they didn't buy the food.  My stand was that I didn't like hot water cornbread and I was NOT going to eat it, even if I had to sit at that table all day.  Let's just say that I never ate that damn nasty ass cornbread.  YUCK!
    I am not a domestic goddess.  I go to bed with dirty dishes in the sink.  If we are running late, I do not require that my son make his bed.  There are many of days that I don't make my own bed.  I am going to get back into it, right?  I have hired a maid on several occasions because I didn't want to do spring cleaning or cleaning, period, for that matter.  I wish that I can find a maid that would put away the laundry after I wash it. Otherwise, it may sit in the living room for a day or two, or three or four.
     I don't obsess about the little stuff.  It's not that serious to me.  If my son eats pizza for breakfast, so what?  At least he ate.  If my house does not look like Molly Maid just left 7 days a week, AND?  It is, what it is.  If requiring that my son eats veggies with every meal, having an immaculate house and ensuring that the laundry is put away promptly are the requirements for being the perfect mom, then I would receive an epic fail.  But if supporting my son in all that he does, ensuring that he receives the best education, instilling his faith in God, teaching him life skills and showing him how to be self reliant, are signs of a good mom, then I would say that I am doing a pretty damn good job.  Still far from perfect but a pretty damn good, all the same.
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9 comments:

  1. I LOVE HOT WATER CORNBREAD!!!!!!!! My ex's mother used to make it maybe her recipe was different then the one you grew up with but let me tell you I wish I was dating him again just so I could eat him mommas cooking she could get down in the kitchen

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  2. I like your spirit! You remind me of my single mother. Housekeeping was not her strong suit(although we never had a dirty home, just one that was always a bit messy). More important to her were visits with family, trips to the beach, short but treasured vacations, good food (I did have to eat everything on my plate, but the only thing I ever absolutely refused to eat was my mother's pan fried liver - LIVER!), my education, and how to behave with regard for others. I think your son is pretty darned lucky to have you.

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    1. Thank you, Sherri. I appreciate that. I agree with your mother, those things are so much more important. I don't like liver either. Good thing that was not cooked in my house growing. LOL!

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  3. I am the Mom to Ms. Don't like her grandmother's hot water cornbread..Often times or most we raise our children the way we were raised..especially when we feel our parents did a good job..The only thing that is different..I taught my girls how to clean house..and to cook..I didn't do as well with the boys..I should have taught them also how to cook and clean...A rule in my house was make up your bed..and make sure you had clean underwear on..in case something happened and you had to go to the hospital or they brought you home...now, that's one for the book..I never questioned the sense of it..I just had my children perform it...I never made them eat anything they didn't like..although somethings were a must..medicine..To make a long story short...you must decide what your children need..teach them skills they will need to survive..and Don't worry be happy..Grandmas always have your back...

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  4. My mother was very stern, and determined to have an immaculate house. She had a full-time job and spent weekends cleaning and cooking the meals we ate during the week. She was driven by the pursuit of perfection, and unhappy much of the time. Most of the neighborhood kids, including me, thought she was a witch. We all preferred the mother a few doors down who had a dirty house but taught all the kids in the neighborhood how to play poker.

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  5. INCORPORATING HEALTHY EATING IN OUR CHILDREN IS A SERIOUSLY TOUGH JOB! MY SONS LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT BEFORE GAINING BACK WHEN I STARTED CHANGING THE MENU ON THE TABLE BUT NOW THAT THEY ARE BACK ON TRACK, IT WAS ALL WORTH THE QUARRELS.. THERE IS NO SUCH A THING AS A PERFECT MOM BUT I GUESS WE NEVER STOP TRYING.. GOOD READ!

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